Questions to ask yourself

• Have you ever dated someone who already has a girlfriend?
• Have you ever dated a married man?
• Would you, or have you, dated someone who was separated?
• Would you date a guy that keeps his online dating profile 'active'?
• If he told you that he was dating other women, would you ask no questions and continue to date him?
• Even if you did ask him questions about the women he was dating, would you still date him?
• Have you dated a guy that still lives with his ex but says that there is nothing between them?
• Have you dated a guy that still lives with his ex and shares a bed with her, but says he wants to be with you?
• Have you ever been involved with a man that claims to be in a long distance relationship with someone he hardly sees?
• Would you still date a guy who clearly still seemed to have issues with his ex, possibly obsessed with her and talks about her quite a lot?
• Would you date a guy that won't discuss his living situation?
• Would you date a guy that doesn't want you to call him?
• Would you date a guy that could only see you during the week?
• Would you consider going out with a guy who wanted to have an ‘open’ relationship?
• Would you date a guy that only corresponds by text message or has a 'Don't call me, I'll call you' policy?

It’s safe to say that if you have answered yes to even one of these questions, you are dating/being in relationships with Mr Unavailable’s. It’s also safe to say that there may be some questions that flagged up issues that you may not have even regarded as being Mr Unavailable behaviour.

Look over the questions above, and even write down the names of the guys against each question so that it becomes something unavoidable. Looking at the answers to your questions and remembering how you felt whilst you were with these guys, it's very likely, unless you are made of stone or are completely oblivious to what is taking place around you, that you more than likely didn't feel that great. It's actually very likely that you felt damn awful. Well remember that so you don't go down the same road again! Love and relationships is not supposed to be like this!

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Comments

[Love Coach Rinatta Paries]

Great List! I would add one a question at the end of the list: Why were you willing to put up with a guy/gal who was this unavailable? Answer this question and you might not go down this road again quiet as easily.

Jodi's Love Coach :)
Love Coach Rinatta Paries

[NML]

That's a very good point! I shall make that question the subject of a follow up post. Thanks!

[Ananda]

I think the list is good. We have to take responsibility for our choices and patterns, and then be kind and gentle with ourselves about making these changes. We have to forgive as India.Arie sings about. We have to let go. We have to heal. We have to choose to be the best we can be. We have to be patient with ourselves and not allow our past choices to dictate our present. We gotta be happy with ourselves first. Love and like and forgive self. I love what NML preaches we gotta be happy with us first. It really changes your personal energy which influences who you attract into your life. Intention and action are everything. I intend to live, choose, and love me and others better. Growth ... it is all good.