Mr Unavailable - A guide to avoiding emotionally, physically and spiritually unavailable men

Wanting Mr Unavailable’s = Being Miss Unavailable

*** Thanks for visiting my blog. If you would like to find out more information on emotional unavailability, please go to Baggage Reclaim where the Mr Unavailable Guide has now moved to.***

For a dedicated guide to emotional unavailability check out my ebook Mr Unavailable and The Fallback Girl

I’ve been officially single since January 2002. That’s four years and seven months. In that entire span of time, I’ve wanted nothing to do with any kind of relationship. To that end, for a significant portion of that time, I adopted dating as a sport. Trying to fit in as many meaningless dates and anonymous sexual encounters as poss

ible. Tiring of that, I just stopped. Ceased the dating game nearly altogether, only fitting in the odd date here or there. Finally understanding the extent to which I have contributed to the fact that all of the relationships I’ve had have been bad, realising that all of the men I’ve ever chosen have been Mr. Unavailable's, and accepting that I needed to take a good look inside of myself to figure out why.

Why have I been unfailingly attracted to Mr. Unavailable's? Because I’ve been a Miss Unavailable.

Often, I’ve wondered about the extent to which my very first relationship has contributed to this phenomenon. Did the fact that my first boyfriend, Vito, shattered my fairytale image of love, forever skew my attitudes about love? But does it really matter? Spending my time and energy playing the blame game isn’t going to solve anything. Because no matter where my commitment-phobia originated, I still have to move forward and figure out how to become a Miss Available. I now know that my conscious and subconscious ideas and attitudes about relationships, about people and about myself have been keeping me a prisoner of the Unavailable Realm.

Love Clinic: Improve Your Judgment Skills

*** Thanks for visiting my blog. If you would like to find out more information on emotional unavailability, please go to Baggage Reclaim where the Mr Unavailable Guide has now moved to.***

For a dedicated guide to emotional unavailability check out my ebook Mr Unavailable and The Fallback Girl

In the quest to shake your love of emotionally unavailable men, you'll be faced with the question of how good your judgment is in the first place. It's understandable why you will experience this feeling - Discovering that you expend a lot of wasted energy on men that are unavailable and very unlikely to change is a shocking realisation. Realising that you have listened too much, ignored your gut, your intuition, and every other sign possible that this guy was throwing you crumbs is devastating. Wondering how you will ever trust yourself or a guy ever again is not unusual feeling.

We can't give up on love because of willing choices that we have made. Of course we get bruised, hurt and question how much we can trust, but as I said in an article on Baggage Reclaim a few months ago, If we give up on love, we give up on ourselves. Instead we need to love and trust ourselves more and exercise judgment.

Meeting Guys

• When you do meet a guy for the first time, pay attention to his behaviour.
• Is all of his attention focused on you?
• Is he being too forward? Too intense?
• Does he answer questions directly?
• Does he seem nervous when his mobile phone rings?
• How does he give you his details? Is he very specific about when you can call? If he is, this can be a very early indicator of an unavailable man that may be spreading his attention thinly or just reticent about letting you in.
• Does he mention a recent break-up or an ever present ex? Back away right now!

Dating

• You need to be looking for consistent behaviour. A common characteristic of emotionally unavailable men is that they blow hot and cold. They run very hot when in pursuit and once it starts to feel like they are in some sort of relationship or routine, they start to blow cold and luke warm.
• Does he call when he says he'll call?
• Do you only see him at weekends or during the week? Be very wary of routine guys that seem to squeeze you in around their hectic schedule and can only see you on a specific day of the week.
• Does he call late or come around late? Always be wary of any man who seems to behave like a modern day dating vampire.