The Mr Unavailable Guide - A Book On the Way

*** Thanks for visiting my blog. If you would like to find out more information on emotional unavailability, please go to Baggage Reclaim where the Mr Unavailable Guide has now moved to.***

For a dedicated guide to emotional unavailability check out my ebook Mr Unavailable and The Fallback Girl

Many thanks to the many readers of this site and all of those that comment and send emails. I am genuinely shocked at the response that talking about emotionally unavailable men has elicited. When I first realised that I had been afflicted with...oh ok, I had put myself through the experience of it over and over again!, I thought it was just myself and good friend, blogmate New York Moments. I used to think that emotionally unavailable men and all of the other goons I dated were a stroke of bad luck till I realised what a destructive hand in my own fate I was having.

There is a lot more to be said about emotionally unavailable men and whilst the blog has its purpose, there's a lot more to be learnt if you can get all of the information in one go and move on from this disastrous pattern as quickly as possible. I'd rather people took a lot less time than I did to learn the error of their ways!

So I've decided to write up everything I know about the phenomenon of emotionally unavailable men, why women do it, why guys do it (not that we should care too much) and most importantly, how to break the pattern and move on. For good. Remember that the only way we stop drawing in emotionally unavailable men is to be become unattractive to them and this can only be done by healing the issues that have created this pattern.

Now considering that I am popping out a baby mid May (let's hope it doesn't arrive early), the plan is to publish the book which I will do through Lulu (the joys of the internet that help you to self publish!) I will keep readers updated through the blog and via the email newsletter and I will be gathering reader stories and feedback (all to be used anonymously) so look out for prompts.

To express an interest in being notified on when the book is available, I am setting up a mailing list which will be in the sidebar.

Stay strong and as usual, I am available on email for anyone who has questions or needs advice. I do sometimes take a few days to reply but you will get one! In the meantime, for posts on dating, relationships, sex and of course, man taming, please go to Baggage Reclaim.

Thanks again for all of the support! Take care, NML

My new eBook Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl is now available to buy as an instant download. Find out more.

Comments

[RandomlySane]

Congrats on the baby! (I know I must be totally late...) And I'm looking forward to getting the book!

[Rumbera]

Stop blaming women for this serious problem in our society. We do not attract unavailable men due to our own pathology but simply due to the fact that what dominates our relationship culture is the unavailable man. Blaming women by developing a psychology of women who seem to attract the unavailable man due to her own "issues" merely serves to perpetuate the dominance of the unavailable man in our society. By focusing on female pathology, attention is diverted from the male pathology of this problem, which should instead, be at the forefront of the discussion. We need to stop minimizing and otherwise ignoring the simple fact that it is not our pathology that is the problem, but that women are overwhelmed by vast numbers of unavailable men in our culture. Maybe it is our own coping mechanism that drives us to blame ourselves, thus keeping the hope alive that maybe if we change ourselves, we will attract the right kind of man. Afterall, who wants to admit that we have few options due to the fact that sadly, the number of available men in today's relationship culture are practically nil?

[NML]

Rumbera, thanks for your rather hostile comment... I think if you had actually read the articles on the site, it is clear that I don't hold women responsible for the problem, but I do say that it is our happiness is our own responsibility. It's not rocket science that there are a lot of emotionally unavailable men out there but many get to remain that way because they can be with women that will accomodate their behaviour. Your solution is to remove all responsibility for a woman being in a relationship with a man who is incapable of giving her anything and place it all on the man. We may as well all give up now and place our lives in other people's hands.
I'm not here to teach men Rumbera, so you're at the wrong place for that and it's probably better that you find another site. The fact that I have had hundreds of emails and comments from women admitting that they were in very dark places in their lives when they took up with emotionally unavailable men and sidelined their own needs and emotions, tells me that I'm not as stupid as you suggest and that whilst what I have to say does *not* touch or appeal to you, it does to others.

[Lisa]

Rumbera is right. The issue is theirs and we shouldn't be focusing on blaming the woman, or leading her to ruminate over how flawed she is and that is why this is happening to her. She's not made of stone. Being single is very, very difficult. Very.

[karin]

it is not a woman's fault but until society as a whole changes (which even if it does will take a very long time) we as women need to figure out a way to seal with these 'mr. unavailables'. remember, the only person you can control and change is yourself so it makes sense for you to see what responsibility you have in these situation. if all women would find it unacceptable to be treated this way these 'men' would be forced into changing there behavior because no women will put up with it but by putting up with it the cycle continues.

take responsibility odf your own life, it is very dangerous to blame others for your unhappiness in your adult life. grow up, please.