Almost three years ago, I broke up with a Mr Unavailable that I’d been having a barely there relationship with for five months. I’d spent the entire time debating his behaviour with my friends and blog readers, only to discover that my gut had been right all along and he really wasn’t ready for a relationship. Looking back over all I had written and my entire history of disastrous relationships and dodgy men, I declared that I had an addiction to emotionally unavailable men. This seemed to open up the floodgates, as other women seemed to share my plight. Curious, I continued writing about my experiences but this time using them to offer advice and solutions for how women can move forward from these self-esteem depleting relationships.
Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl: Book One is the result of sharing my insights about emotional unavailability on both Baggage Reclaim and the specifically created Mr Unavailable Guide. The first in a 3-part series, it focuses on Mr Unavailable because I have found through my many conversations with women about these relationships that the first step for them is knowledge about him. It’s very easy to go straight to talking about us but due to the nature of the dysfunctional dynamics between Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, knowledge about who he is and how and why he behaves as he does is key, otherwise we continue to look for excuses to justify our continued investment into the relationship.
Buy now on instant download for £5 which is approximately $9.83*
Ladies, we choose men that reflect the negative things that we believe about ourselves, love, and relationships. We get the relationship that in some weird way, we subconsciously want.
- They confirm that we are not good enough.
- They create the drama that we think is supposed to be part of relationships by giving fleeting highs, plenty of lows, and never quite letting us know where we stand.
- They take the spotlight off us so that we get to focus on how bad they are and what they’re doing to ruin the relationship.
- They make us want to try harder to win them over by providing a challenge. Of course when we don’t ‘win’ we determine that there must be something wrong with us.
You want a guy to want to be around you and not abandon you - Go out with Mr Unavailable and you'll feel abandoned.
You want a guy to love and cherish you - Go out with Mr Unavailable and you'll feel unloved and not cherished, which makes you feel not good enough.
As well as explaining the basics of emotional unavailability and how it’s tied into fear of commitment, I introduce Mr Unavailable’s complicit partner, the Fallback Girl and explain that even though there are millions of women out there believing that they are working hard to make their relationships work with these men, the very act of being with them is actually a subconscious act of sabotaging any chance of a healthy relationship. Unfortunately whilst Mr Unavailable’s get one big ego massage from the various women in their lives, Fallback Girl’s self-esteem takes an ongoing battering.
I lay out the common situations that we get involved in with Mr Unavailable’s such as being with them when they’re attached, dating several people, only communicating via text and email, or obsessing about their ex. With each situation, I explain what is wrong with it and why each situation makes the guy Mr Unavailable.
I give a list of the key characteristics and behaviours of Mr Unavailable and provide in-depth explanations about how and why he behaves as he does in relationships. Much of his actions are tied around managing down the Fallback Girl’s expectations so that he can maintain the Status Quo that he has determined for the relationship with one of the fundamental ways that he does this being blowing hot and cold.
Book One lays the foundations for the following books which will focus on unveiling who the Fallback Girl is and why and how she facilitates these relationships, followed by healing, moving on, and learning how to recognise and appreciate a healthy relationship for what it is.
If you have ever been involved with an emotionally unavailable men and have felt like tearing your hair in frustration at this enigma, this book is for you. You are not alone.
Mr Unavailable and The Fallback Girl: Book One is available for instant download. It's £5 which is roughly $9.83*.
*Rates quoted are an approximation and you will be advised at the shopping cart!
