*** Thanks for visiting my blog. If you would like to find out
more
information on emotional
unavailability, please go to Baggage Reclaim where
the Mr Unavailable Guide has now moved to.***
For a dedicated guide to emotional unavailability check out my ebook Mr Unavailable and The Fallback Girl
My story starts in the summer of 2004. I was 34 and was fresh out of a horribly deceitful eight year marriage. I was reeling with hate, anger and most of all, confusion about the word "love". I met Jason at my place of work. We started having lunch dates which then turned into weekend trips. Things heated up quickly and the next thing I knew, I found myself stuck in the web of Mr Unavailable.
In all honesty, he pursued me but I gladly accepted. I probably wasn't in the best place to get into a relationship but sometimes we don't always have a choice over timing. We spent alot of time together and I found myself thinking that this really could be something. A month and a half later he accepted a job offer across the country. When he accepted, I was upset as I knew this may make the progression of the relationship difficult. I had the tough job of recovering from my marriage and losing Jason. Suddenly, I found myself in a long distance relationship.
What followed in the 23 months may sound fabulous to some, but believe me, if it doesn't come with any emotional value, its worthless. For the first 6 months living across the country from each other (still getting to know one another), he flew me out every chance he could. I took frequent long weekends. Usually this meant flying in to NYC on a Fri evening and flying back to the west coast on Monday. It was exhausting but worth it to me. In the two years we were together, if you added up all the time we spent in the same room, it probably was about 6 months. He flew out to see me, we took trips to Las Vegas, Los Angeles and even Amsterdam.
I felt myself falling for him but there was one thing missing. He NEVER told me how he felt about me. When pressed, he squirmed like a little child trying to get out of eating his peas for dinner. After several months, I told him I loved him. *Silence*. Nothing in return. When his job opportunity fell through, I started to press him about his plans. He took up poker playing for a living which meant he could live pretty much anywhere he wanted. He spent days on end in Atlantic City. I would always get a phone call from him every night if not twice a day. He was loyal in many ways but very uncommitted emotionally.
As I was slowly healing from my disastrous marriage, I found myself pressuring him even more. Many times I would ask "what are we doing? What is it that you want from me"? I can't explain it but this guy was a master at avoiding questions regarding our relationship. Sometimes he would get down right angry at me and make me feel like the biggest nag in the world. He made me feel horrible about myself. He often was critical of me. He hated that I drank diet coke and thought I wore too much make-up. I am a very self confident, independent, strong woman but like the woman I never thought I was, I took this criticism many times over. Why? Because I thought it was worth it to wait him out, to see if he would change.
Continue reading "Learn from another woman's experience of a Mr Unavailable" »
tinues in trying to shake her Mr Unavailable, but it seems that even though she took two steps forward, she's taken twenty steps back. It's safe to say that a hardcore detox is neccessary before the self destruct button gets hit....
ntinues on her quest to ditch Mr. Unavailable and finds herself going several steps too far down memory lane on her birthday but 'discovering' the truth about her relationship with the consumate Mr Unavailable and having to face the very unpleasant reality. Her Mr Unavailable proves that he really is a dickhead and it looks like Pochantas is finally, truly recognising that she is worth a hell of a lot more than she's given herself credit for. Hopefully....
in with Pochantas who is going through the excruciating phase of missing someone so bad you want them back but knowing that everything is wrong. Her Mr Unavailable is on her case, bombarding her with calls, messages and even a request for a visit. Pochantas feels so lonely in NYC right now. Can she make it through without giving in to his demands?
